How to become a pyromaniac

Yep, you’re reading this right. I’m going to tell you the basic rules about becoming a pyromaniac.

First: you need a LOT of wood.
There is just no fun in burning down somebody’s house, barn or shed…Well OK, if it is a really really old barn or shed and there is nothing in it no more except spiders (burn baby burn) and it is a real sore to the eyes… maybe then you could… BUT you have to have permission from the owner…

Second: You need some fuel.
Yes I know with the fuel prices these days, you’re not gonna spill a whole gallon on a big fire, but trust me, you get GREAT satisfaction when you see that all the wood goes up in flames… well... if your still not convinced you can always use some used oil from tractors, lawnmowers, cars and scooters…

Third: You need a wheelbarrow, a shovel and a pitchfork.
In order to create a good fire that last a couple of hours you need the wheelbarrow to bring all the branches and wood to the fire. And you need the shovel and pitchfork to clean up the fire and make sure it doesn’t get too big or out of control (as in burning your house down).

And finally: You need supportive parents!
Well actually the parents are the REAL pyromaniacs but you can’t tell the neighbors, they might get scared!

In Holland you are not allowed to burn anything. We used too maybe 10 - 15 years ago but nowadays you can’t do anything anymore not even making a nice little fire in your back yard. You have to remember Holland is one third the size of Indiana and Indiana has 3.3 million people whereas Holland has 16 million. Yep…. That is why, no fires in The Netherlands…

When we finally got our visas and moved here in February of 2006. We were happily surprised that the weather was already 60 degrees Fahrenheit (the ONLY year that happend since we been here!). Me and my dad had spotted a great little house not far from where the dairy was going to be, a couple of months before we actually moved, and we had contacted the lady who owned it. She really didn’t want to rent it out but after we convinced her that we really were “nice” and “decent” people and our sweet crop farmer put in a good word for us she let us rent the house.

Now you all want to know what we did those first couple of days…. Right???

Well, we burned and burned and burned! All the leaves, all the old branches, entire threes, the half collapsed chicken coops (yes there were several) and after 2 weeks of burning stuff we had nothing to burn anymore. It was 40 acres of forest after all... took some time to clean up... The best thing was that my mom and dad had a smile on their faces from morning till evening because they felt so liberated! You could burn things here! No, the police would not show up. The neighbors wouldn’t call the fire department just because the smoke would come their way. No way! This is the land of the free!!!

Having a little fire every evening really made us feel happy and content with the huge decision of immigrating to this beautiful country. And yes every now and then we turn into little pyromaniacs again (especially when my little sister comes over from Holland), and we have ourselves a little bonfire and enjoy this immense country and eachothers company.

 
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