Old Hands...

My hands look like the hands of an 80 year old lady

My hands hurt like the hands of an 80 year old lady

I sometimes feel like a lady who has lived 80 years, just by looking at my hands…

And yes, this might have to do with the fact that we were in the emergency room for over ten hours… Well… and the fact that they used my hands as a (several) pin cushion(s)… And, maybe, the fact that we had to stay in the hospital (again) for over 10 days because I had an unexplained fever… Oh… and the pneumonia that we didn't know I had…

Good thing I that I can open my own bottle of water again, with these old hands, it is kind of a bother to keep asking people to open up bottles of water when you are supposed to keep hydrated... (Thank You Mommy, Daddy, Hanneke, Jan Willem, Megan and of course my everything: Bastiaan!!).

It is also a good thing too that I am home. I like being home. Bastiaan and I have been throwing this idea around to rent a big camper and to go “see” places (you know, normally we would do this when we would be 70+), but plans have to be adjusted sometimes... I like to be home for now.

Besides opening water bottles it is also a nice thing to be able to “do” things again. Like (and this keeps repeating itself for some strange reason…) going to the bathroom by myself without falling of the “pot”, putting socks on (I like my socks and I have not one pair of toe slipper thingies so, I need socks…), playing with my new phone, getting in our lovely bathtub, and more important, getting out of the bathtub… and typing new blog posts and doing the “Facebook thing”, gosh, I hope they don’t drop the “timeline” disaster on me any time soon…

I can’t vacuum the house yet, but I’m not sure if that is a good thing or a “bad” thing. Hehe…

We are having a hard time (not that it was not hard before) but we got quite a shock from the horrible hospital experience two weeks ago, don’t get me wrong, the nurses and (most) of the doctors were really nice, it was just the overall experience of being a test bunny that got to me and Bastiaan & the family (and the pain). I do not mind being a test bunny if it will help other people with this grueling disease but… just don’t let me FEEL like a hurting test bunny…

And to be completely honest, I do not know how many times I can crawl out of a 10 meter deep hole (hmmm that would be 33 feet…) again…

Yes, we had to stop the Zelboraf treatment because of the pneumonia & fever (which they never really figured out after giving me 7 different antibiotics; "which one did the trick...?", and yes the docs really like me to start again as soon as possible, but… I just don’t feel ready yet…

Maybe if my hands look like my hands again instead of the hands of a 80 year old lady and more important they don’t hurt anymore, and I have seen me some cute looking girls (almost as good as seeing a beautiful black stallion ;-)) at the dairy, we’ll be ready to do round number four…

Maybe. 

I just love being home right now.

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