The C stands for ...

When we were in the hospital something amazing happened!
Well... I think it was pretty amazing, anyway...

It is very uplifting/humbling to see your life story written down by somebody else, it sure makes you feel very blessed! I really hope you like Emily's article!

And i am sorry but you have to click the link in order to get to the article (maybe even open a new window)...

Chasing a Dream: One woman's fight for a Dairy farm life


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Things are going well. Every new day is a better one then the day before. Hopefully we are going to see the girls today! And i am sure happy to be back here with all of you!

Dog Whisperer

I have absolutely no idea what our Jones is thinking most of the time.

We tried to “teach” him stuff. And yes he knows; sit, down, come, zit (Dutch for sit), pootje (give me a paw in Dutch) and AF! (means stop it RIGHT NOW! in Dutch). But if we are walking over to my mom and dads house and I try to call him to come back to me, he all of a sudden looses all the hearing senses he had two minutes before and he will just look at me with this smarty pants grin and keeps on trotting along (from a distance... yes).

I am NOT a dog whisperer. Not even close…

Lately I have been having some trouble sleeping and because we don’t have central air we also don’t have air condition. So when it gets really really hot (like it did a couple of weeks ago) Bastiaan installed on of those air-conditioning things in the window of our bedroom. But, you might know, that thing is LOUD! And that doesn't improve sleeping, so we just had the window open… hoping for a nice breeze…

It was about 3 AM in the morning and I hear Jones barking, i just (almost) fell asleep and was NOT happy with this interruption. He sometimes barks, but normally he just goes on for 3 barks and then he is silent again. This time it just seemed he was barking his head off… for forever…

Really pissed and worried that Bastiaan would awake I climbed out of bed stumbled around in the dark to find a robe, couldn’t find one so I decided to run out of the bedroom half naked…  Hoping all along that Jones wasn’t barking at some killer on the loose, didn’t really want to make some killers day by showing up all naked!

I peeked true the window and didn’t see no killers, so I even got more pissed,  that crazy dog was probably barking because of some skunk and I would run into it and it would spray me all over with that stinky stuff…. while Jones would be running around with his stupid grin on its face… Great!

While I was running thru the house I kinda forgot that I brought a new friend for Classic the day before. The friend in question was a cute baby calf all white and gray instead of white and black, like “normal” Holstein cows are, that i took from the farm. I was sooo impressed with this baby calf I talked Bastiaan into keeping it. And thus I had made a little stall besides Classic’s stall and had put the baby calf, named her Stella, in there.

I was thinking about Jones, being such a pain in the buttocks and trying to find my slippers and a jacket, (better not to run outside naked, even if it is 3 AM in the morning and we are in the middle of nowhere) at the same time ripping the door open and start running towards the barn.

Jones is barking even more (if that was even possible) and anxious waiting for me to get in the barn…

I hit the light switch and Classic is standing there, blinking his eyes as if trying to waking up but not really succeeding at it, and Jones goes absolutely berserk!

I think, “O my gosh! What is up with this dog…, I think I might need to KILL HIM!!!”

And then I see it…

Stella’s newly improved stall door is open….

“OH MY GOSH!!!”

It is dark outside, and this little 4 day old baby calf got out and I have a major big stallion here that does NOT like baby calves!… What if he runs into the fence cause all the barn doors are wide open and he can go everywhere!…  What if the little baby calf gets lost!…. What if the little baby calf gets hit by a car!.... OH NO, I have to take care of ONE BABY CALF and I lost it the first day I have it at our house!….

Needles to say I was a little worried…

Jones decides to just sit in front of the open door and stops barking all together. And there in the corner of the stall I see something white and gray. And Jones looks up at me with this look in his face like, “Look mommy, the door was open so I decided to make A LOT of noise so you would wake up and make sure you lock that door so my new friend does not get out…”

I gave him three cookies.

 And a hug.

 And one more cookie.

And told him he was a good, good dog.

…

Bastiaan have come back from Chicago, we have no real news to share except that we have to go back to Chicago this Wednesday to talk to more Melanoma specialists... we wait, and wait and wait... No news is good news, right?

Every girl needs a brush!

Yep, us girls need a good spa treatment every now and then! And this is not any different for our cows.

At our farm we have a hospital pen, this is the area/pen at our farm where our girls with special needs stay if they are feeling blue. Normally the ladies will only be in there for a week, but sometimes they stay longer, depending on how or what kind of issues they have.

Because we want to pamper these girls a bit, they already feel “left out” because they had to move to a different part of the barn and leave their girlies and BFF's, we had a big and I mean BIG automatic brush installed!

Cows like to groom. They want to feel clean, and this brush is the perfect way to do that. Whenever a cow pushes the brush it automatically starts to swirl. Not only does it swirl, it also goes up and down, to the left and to the right. It is pretty nifty!  Sometimes they line up or are waiting in little groups until the ‘leading’ lady is done so they can take her place. And sometimes these silly girls go really nuts and while one will have her buttocks scratched, another one has her head up against it... at the same time...!

In the beginning we didn’t know if this brush was going work out. We had read about it but never seen it in action. But the brush is amazing! It seems that because of the cows curiosity always wins it over being scared of the big yellow thing, so every girl gives it a shot eventually... And they love it!

In the 3 years that we have the brush up and running, it never broke.  And so a couple of weeks ago, when I was bragging to a real nice gentlemen about that the brush was, “Soooo GOOD and it NEVER broke! Next day… what did it do…. It broke! “Yeah I jinxed it!”  So i am not gonna say that again!

It took us about 2 weeks to fix the thing and you should have seen the looks on our girls! They were NOT happy with us! After we put it back up we had not 3 or 4 girls waiting in line but 6 or 7! They were soooo content!

I wish we could have those brushes in every pen/group on the farm and so all the girls could groom themselves, that would be fantastic! But those brushes are worth almost as much as one and a half cow! So we are still dreaming about putting one in every pen… What we are doing now is putting a little brush in at the end of every pen. It is like two little brushes were you sweep the floor with, in an L shape, upside down (should have taken a picture…) and we hung it up at the right height.

Now the girls can still have a perfect shine on their coats, and feel mighty clean, even if they are not in the hospital pen!

...

Wordless Wednesday

"Mommy...
Why are my nostrils black but am I'm I almost white???"

"Cause you are a little package from Heaven..."

Ahwww, Brown Swiss baby calves are soooooo sweet!

Have a wonderful Wednesday and I hope to see you tomorrow, right here, to read a new blog post!

"Oh! before I forget!" You can find more pictures at our Farm's website:
Four Leaf Clover Dairy

Dipshits and pressure washers...

This is a older post i posted on my facebook and hyves page in 2009.
Because i got great responces i'm putting it up again on blogger.

Have Fun!


As of November 9th 2009 I’m officially healthy!

The reason being: the didn’t find anything in my head and that I’m a blond, doesn’t have anything to do with it…

This means we do not have to go to the oncologist, dermatologist, gynecologist, ER and eye doctor every week. Now I can get myself together for 3 MONTHS, ahhh, live is good, before I have to go back! This means let’s kick some booty…

So in order to do that, I figured I might get myself useful and start with cleaning things up. You have to set the right example, right? So I got the pressure washer ready and started cleaning. Trying, anyway... We do not have a little pressure washer, it is a big kick ass thing apparently only to use by whom do not just have to do their driveways and cars.

So I turn the thing on and am about to fall in the derbis, of course for the obvious reason, it hasn’t been cleaned yet. I get myself back up straight and started… I’m a very impatient person, so it is nice to see immediate result. Not that it was that dirty but it is like when you paint, you notice the difference.

a clean milking palor

Next thing I know our guys (who were suppose to clean in the first place) are standing there, watching me handle that pressure washer… Yeah, funny thing... little girl, big pressure washer…
I could’ve kicked their booty’s right there, but I figured it is better to do that in a meeting with some proper translation (Spanish, yeah, working on it) and get some actual results instead of just some snickering and more funny jokes.

Next day I’m walking like an 80 year old woman, with walking stick, feeling terrible everywhere, knowing I didn’t kick nobody’s booty but mine. And yes, big pressure washers are for big guys not little girls who are just recovering from chemo…

A girl and her bathtub...

Being a farmer doesn’t mean I’m less of a girl/woman. It is hard to say what I am, being 31 doesn’t qualify me as a woman because I look like a 20 year old (at least that’s what I think, on a good sunny, my hair does exactly what I want day) but am not a girl anymore either, I’m married after all…
Being a girl in a men’s world makes it even harder. It wasn’t easy in college and university, being in a classroom where they are just one or two other girls, out of the 40 guys; it is even harder in the real world.



First off; they (the men) do not believe you… Imagine going into a meeting about management and hoof trimming, they think you are the wife of a farmer, and believe me that is by far, the best category you can fall into. So… you do not qualify as somebody with any kind of knowledge or expertise, so they think they do not have talk about cow stuff with you. And so you sit alone in a meeting until you find a sweet farmers wife OR heaven forbid another girl/woman that IS a farmer herself!

Second; they do not take you seriously.
When they do find out you are the farmer instead of the farmer’s wife, girlfriend, or bunny hugger, maybe they will talk to you and ask you some serious questions. And I have to admit the “older” gentlemen amongst us seem to be much MORE acceptable of a women then the younger generation. Wonder why…
Mostly it starts with talking about calves, maybe every girl or women is supposed to like small animals? And I have to admit, I think they are really cute, especially when I see them at somebody else’s farm!

Third; they are scared.
When you are milking over 2000 cows and you just started, never milked a cow of you own in your whole life before. And you are able to make deals they haven’t been able make with all their manly powers, and you are enjoying yourself immensely, I can understand why some men are a bit afraid of you.

Of course with social media coming up it is much easier for me to get some really good feedback, we pose ourselves on the internet, on twitter ,facebook or any other media and most people assume you are a guy, so they will talk to you and answer your questions and value you opinion. By the time they figure out you are a woman, most do not really care no more because they see you as a person with a reasonable opinion and some (I hope) decent advice.

But luckily for me we are blessed with great guys here in Indiana! They are maybe a bit scared, wary and a bit suspicious at first but that is ok! If you do not know me, or any other girl or woman that shows up at your door step and starts talking about milk quality, conception rates, breeding possibilities and the quality of the crops last year, I would be a bit confused too! But almost all the men I have met since we have moved to this great country have proven to me that there is a way for somebody new no matter if you are a boy or a girl, from China, Africa or the Netherlands, to get accepted here into the dairy industry. And I am most grateful for that.

I really think that if I would have stayed in The Netherlands it would have been different. Most Americans tend to be much more open minded and acceptable to change then they think they are!
Of course everything has to come from two sides but I am really happy with the men I have met in de dairy industry so far.



I didn’t tell you about the advantages yet, and wherever there are disadvantages there are advantages!
I never have to wait in line going to the bathroom when we have a meeting. I usually do not have to work the evening or night shift. And heavy lifting, some sweet guy who sees me struggling will rush over and take over. Also most of the men are really polite and even if you make them really, really mad, they still are nice or at least try to be really nice.
And sometime a little smile and a wink can make life so much easier….

Together you can get things done that at first may seem impossible.

So Wednesday nights I will lay down in my bathtub, get a good scrubbing, put some girly clothes on (not the coveralls rubber boots and a hat), blow-dry my hair and put some make-up on to watch America’s next top model and think about the past week and about all the wonderful men I have in my life, who I work with and who I respect. I have to admit, it is pretty SWEET being a girl in a men’s world!

What Cancer does to somebody like ME

One year, eleven months and somewhat days ago I got confronted with this awful disease. I can tell you, it wasn't and is not funny...

After several surgeries, lots of pain and fear I got 4 weeks of chemo treatment for 4 hours in a row every day. After that we did 48 weeks of chemo shots, 3 times a week, with one of the most terrible chemical substances that people have invented. Things lasted a bit longer because we had to quit a couple of times (weeks) because my body or mind couldn’t handle it too well...

Cancer does a lot to people... So does the treatment of cancer...

It makes you angry

Angry against the world, because every time you go to the hospital, the people that you meet are in their fifties. Where are all the young people??? Am I the only one? Angry towards the people surrounding you. I doesn’t matter how hard they try, they can’t feel, understand or know what you feel! Even if they are by your side 24/7 in the hospital and at home, keep your hair up when you are puking your guts out in the toilet or when you do NOT want to say ANYTHING because you are to tired to the bone or when they hold you until the shaking has stopped… Angry towards your friends, you thought they were there, but they are not. Angry towards you family, they do not deserve it, but to admit that to yourself only makes things worse. But most of all angry towards yourself. Because you just can’t understand why this had to happen. And if you could have changed it or prevented it! And of course I am MAD because I thought I could change or adapt to anything. I could do everything and I didn’t NEED anybody. Angry because it is not fair. Angry because it shouldn’t have to be this way. Angry because of all the hurt I caused other people...

It makes you scared
Scared that you never get off of the rollercoaster of emotions, your sad, happy, angry and hurt, and all over again. Afraid that with every bump, every little thing that hurts, every little change or little mold, it is coming back... Scared that all the statistics are true. Scared because we have to go back to the hospital every 3 months the coming five years, and you NEVER know what “they” are going to say... Afraid you can never have any little kids, and even if you would, and you would die within two years, Bastiaan would be all alone with that little bundle of love... I can’t do that... Afraid that you can not give the people, who you love the most, what they deserve.

It makes you sad
Because live passed you by for the last two years and you can not get it back. Because you wanted to build friendships but didn’t have the energy to do so. Because you wanted to face the mistakes you made in the past, but that didn’t work out. Because this was supposed to be the new country with the new life and possibilities. Because we are shallow and you do not realize that until you have a hole of 3 by 2,5 inches on you leg and so many other scars on you body you do not even want to count them. Because you are hurting of the scars that mark your hart. Because I, like so many others want to put problems, subject and other things behind us.

You Learn
That if you do not have anything nice to say, it is better to stay quiet. You do not rule the world, even if you think you did. Things happen for a reason, it will not help you if you do not accept them. Sometimes you have to agree that choices other people make are for the best of you. You can not run from whatever it is you are hiding from. It will come and get you eventually.

You feel loved and blessed
Because no matter what happens (your yelling, crying, being silent and everything in between) your family is there for you. Because the boy who wanted to go with you (because you felt the need to milk cows in the USA) has to deal with all of this and STILL loves you. Because people that you hardly know came up to your house and gave you food, money or other things that would comfort you. Because of the friends that did stay are the ones you need to love the most in return! Because ordinary people with ordinary lives felt the need to pray for YOU! And wished you the best and MEANT it... Whenever you are sick, your mom, dad, husband, brother, sister, family, friends and all the other people that care for you are a little bit sick too. And if they can fight for you, you should fight for them.

It makes you happy
For every day that you can complain, yell or blabber to your family. That you can look to your husband and realise how much you really love him. That every morning you can get out of bed, and you do NOT have to stay in that dammed bed! Because you can go to your work (the dairy), because it is a dream come true
Running a large family operated dairy is a gift and blessing, and i am so dammed proud that i can. I can make choices about who what and were. And that every day, one day is that I can enjoy.

For the first time since April 2008 I feel like myself again, although it is a totally different me
After 5 terrible days, because yes, they put you on all the meds, but how do you get off of them again!!?? Without sleep, with lots and lot’s of pain, and feeling like a zombie who just like a drug addict is missing out on his shot, and doesn’t feel quite alive, I got out of the shower.

And I am glad to be here...

Leontien