Sunday, October 16, 2011

I'll be back!

OK...
I think I'm ready...

I will see you in a week or so...!!!
Well...  Maybe sooner if you are up for a pajama party in the hospital.... ;-)

















We will see how things go and I'll try to keep you updated! I hope you have a wonderful week and make sure you love every moment of it! And don't forget, I'll be thinking about you all!!!

Big hugs
Leontien




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Thursday, October 13, 2011

Who's afraid of heights?


I am afraid of heights.
Not as much as I am afraid of spiders.

Well... maybe...


I went to Australia a couple of years ago, and it was an absolute wonderful experience. The country is just gorgeous. What I liked the best was the fact that about every two days we had a different scenery. One day we would be at the shore looking at the sea and see the sun go down, the other day we would be in the middle of a rain forest. Well at least I thought it was a rain forest, it sure was hot and humid!

We saw mountains and we saw cows (of course) and very very disappointing, I have to admit, only ONE kangaroo, and I don’t even think it was a kangaroo but a walibi (big difference)! But we did see some koala’s which made up for the lack of kangaroos.

Everything was just fantastic until the day we got the “genius” idea to do something different…

This something different  was us scouting for fun things to do on our way from one destination to the other,  we needed some exercise as well and since we already walked besides the shore (where we found out we really needed good shoes, walking gear AND drinking water) and  the desert (which was just HOT again with crazy amounts of flies, EVERYWHERE but at least we brought water that time) we were very pleased when we saw a sign that said “Tree Top Walks” and an explanation of what a three top walk was (which is a path in the top of the trees, man made, which meant the path was made out of metal with little see true holes  in the bottom and attached with cables and/or laying on TALL round posts and SWAYING) and... some stunning pictures.


Being a little naive and blown away by the great pictures (good advertisement on their part) I thought this would help me get over my fear of heights and so I said “Ok, let’s do it!”

I really should have known better.

The beginning was not so bad.  The “path” started out at “ground level”, but quickly the dirt was not there anymore and we were up in the air. Yes, as long as I would look straight forward and went from tree to tree, it wasn’t so bad… But of course that was NOT the only thing I did.

Nooooo I had to look down, see how those cables where attached to those trees, and because I saw the cables I saw us moving slowly from the right to the left and back, and I did a little calculation that those posts on which this metal path WITH SEE TRUE HOLES was attached too was defiantly not strong enough to keep us up there!!!  Doing all this math is not a good thing when you are up 60 feet (i don't know how high we were, it was HIGH to me) in the air and afraid of heights….

Half way true the “walk” I decided I didn’t get no air anymore… “Well, and that I really was afraid and never ever should have attempt something as dumb as this”. But of course it was a bit too late for that and I hurried on down the half mile path…  pushing everybody out of my way and yelling to keep following me!

Do you know how long half a mile is?

It's pretty far…


I got to the other end and just went on my knees and cried like a little baby. You should have seen the looks on the faces of the other people that came of that path, they for sure thought I lost my mind, but I just could not stop myself!  And just as a reminder, you shouldn’t believe the people who tell you you look lovely after bawling your eyes out for 15 minutes either.  Lucky for me the whole thing was a loop and so I didn’t have to go back over that path to get to the car and face more people. Which would have added more shame upon embarrassment…

We went for some more scenery seeing in the safety of our car… which was just fine with me! I didn’t need no more exercise anyway that day…

I really love trees, love them in my yard, besides the roads, in forests, in pictures or paintings, with leafs or without leafs, but I am never going to attempt to do a three top walk again, EVER!!! There are just some things a girl sound not attempt twice…


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Monday is coming closer and closer but I don’t quite know if that is a good thing or a bad thing… Guess we will find out soon! I did do some fun things (laying in the yard watching the cats play, called a bunch of good friends and chatted, went pantie shopping with my little sister. I worked at the farm, my little brother is getting really good at cracking those numbers. And read a lot of beautiful blogs, and i am soaking up all the LOVING you guys give me... Everything is going to be just fine...

Monday, October 10, 2011

Problem or Opportunity



I have a little problem…

I have one week…
One week before we start the huge battle…


One week before my life starts to look pretty grim (seeing a list of all the side effects and hoping my body doesn't decide something that my mind doesn't want to admit could even happen) and now I don’t know what to do until we get there…


Do I spent the week by doing all the things I normally don’t do, or do I work like normal (or a little harder) and make sure that everything is good to go when I will be in Indy?



Maybe I’ll do both?


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Thursday, October 6, 2011

Ready... Set... Go...


Ok, you better all get your undies and toothbrush gathered cause you get to visit!!!

The Plan (and yes “The Plan” might change a bit when we move closer to the "starting date") but we have decided on going to Indi. Yes I know this might come (a little bit) as a shock and truth to be told, Chicago was really nice, the people were very sweet and the doctors very knowledgeable but we felt that we wanted to be a bit closer to home...


I really need all of you, my family, my friends, my buddies (Classic, Jones and the cats) and girls (our cows)  to beat this thing with me and I thought I would feel kinda lonely in Chicago... And yes this may seem a bit silly... But i feel stronger this way and ready too fight, so Bastiaan and I thought this would be a good reason because we need to be as strong as possible. In Chicago they told us that we always could come back if necessary, which was a good and nice thing to know.

So, while we decided on where to go, more tests were done, more test results came back and all the treatment options were presented to us. Out of the three options we have chosen for Inter leukin IL-2, this is a fancy smancy name for a shitty (yes I said it) drug, that hopefully will boost my immune system and knock all those nasty cells out of my body. And no, I am not a nurse or doctor so I might not have used the perfect terms to describe it but I think you get the whole picture if you click on the link (which you don't have to cause its no fun anyway).


The Plan in Indy is as follows: We are going to go to the hospital, I will get admitted to the Intensive Care Unit and I will stay there a whole week. They only do five days of treatment, every eight hours, but we'll need the two extra days to recover. Then we will go home for a week, rest... And we will be back at the Intensive Care the following week and we'll do it all over again, if (and this is a big IF apparently) my body (and mind) can stand the treatment.

The side effects are pretty nasty, so I am not going to name them (The list is too long and a tiny bit depressing…). The good thing is that we will have all day visiting rights!!! Whoohoo... Only two people at the same time, but well… I was pretty happy about that!

Bastiaan and my family can stay most of the time and if they need to go home for a bit, (maybe to drive around in some tractors, look at the cows and talk to all the boys, which can be pretty relaxing after spending a lot of time in the IC) somebody else can come for a bit and stay with me...?


There you go, that is The Plan. Having a private party while doing some MAJOR cancer kicking in Indy while wearing our scull panties and new PJ’s!!!  It sounds good to me…


Monday, October 3, 2011

Check, check, double check

I have my horse. Check
I have my sword. Check
I have my skull panties. Check
I have my family and friends. Check
I have lot's of love and support. Check
I have lot's of wonderful people praying for me (THANK YOU!). Check

I seem to have all the check's in place. But for whatever reason i can't quite start fighting yet. Maybe this week is, "The Week" and we will stop waiting and start doing... I'm ready...



My new fighting buddies















"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." — Maya Angelou




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