My hands look
like the hands of an 80 year old lady
My hands hurt like the hands of an 80 year old lady
I sometimes feel
like a lady who has lived 80 years, just by looking at my hands…
And yes, this
might have to do with the fact that we were in the emergency room for over ten
hours… Well… and the fact that they used my hands as a (several) pin cushion(s)… And,
maybe, the fact that we had to stay in the hospital (again) for over 10 days
because I had an unexplained fever… Oh… and the pneumonia that we didn't know I had…
Good thing I that
I can open my own bottle of water again, with these old hands, it is kind of a
bother to keep asking people to open up bottles of water when you are supposed
to keep hydrated... (Thank You Mommy, Daddy, Hanneke, Jan Willem, Megan and of course my everything: Bastiaan!!).
It is also a good
thing too that I am home. I like being home. Bastiaan and I have been throwing
this idea around to rent a big camper and to go “see” places (you know, normally
we would do this when we would be 70+), but plans have to be adjusted
sometimes... I like to be home for now.
Besides opening
water bottles it is also a nice thing to be able to “do” things again. Like
(and this keeps repeating itself for some strange reason…) going to the bathroom
by myself without falling of the “pot”, putting socks on (I like my socks and I
have not one pair of toe slipper thingies so, I need socks…), playing with my
new phone, getting in our lovely bathtub, and more important, getting out of
the bathtub… and typing new blog posts and doing the “Facebook thing”, gosh, I hope
they don’t drop the “timeline” disaster on me any time soon…
I can’t vacuum
the house yet, but I’m not sure if that is a good thing or a “bad” thing. Hehe…
We are having a
hard time (not that it was not hard before) but we got quite a shock from the
horrible hospital experience two weeks ago, don’t get me wrong, the nurses and
(most) of the doctors were really nice, it was just the overall experience of
being a test bunny that got to me and Bastiaan & the family (and the pain). I do not
mind being a test bunny if it will help other people with this grueling disease
but… just don’t let me FEEL like a hurting test bunny…
And to be
completely honest, I do not know how many times I can crawl out of a 10 meter
deep hole (hmmm that would be 33 feet…) again…
Yes, we had to
stop the Zelboraf treatment because of the pneumonia & fever (which they never really figured out after giving me 7 different antibiotics; "which one did the trick...?", and yes the docs really like
me to start again as soon as possible, but… I just don’t feel ready yet…
Maybe if my hands
look like my hands again instead of the hands of a 80 year old lady and more important
they don’t hurt anymore, and I have seen me some cute looking girls (almost as
good as seeing a beautiful black stallion ;-)) at the dairy, we’ll be ready to
do round number four…
Maybe.
I just love being home right now.
...
