Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Back in the land of the Living...


My gosh…
Cancer Butt Kicking is HARD!!!


I remember the first day in the hospital
I remember the last day of being in the hospital
I remember it being so hard to breathe
I remember Bastiaan being there… always…

When you gain about 7 pounds in 3 days you look like a tomato. And no I don’t mean a cute little tomato  on a little green limb but a FAT, I do not feel happy RED ( called the IL-2 tan) I’m almost falling of off my stick tomato! Being like a tomato is not a good thing. Especially when you keep telling the doctor you are feeling “peachy”…

I got 12 treatments in. They (the doctor and very sweet nurses) say this is a really good thing cause the total you can get is 14 treatments in the first round. We started Monday the 17th. Every eight hours they would give me the Inter Leukin, but by Thursday I had accumulated so much fluid that my heart had a lot of trouble pumping all my blood to my organs.

A little birdie told me once that it is pretty important to have your heart pump blood around too all your organs all the time...


So Dr Logan and his team stopped treatment and they focused on “fixing me up” quick so my heart didn't get crazy ideas.  Which I think was a super idea!  We stayed in on the Intensive Care Unit until Tuesday the 25th instead of Sunday the 23th (like normal IL-2 patients) because they wanted to make sure I was all right, that my heart was doing fine, and the fluid was decreasing. Also I needed to get my strength back and get of off the oxygen, (like those little old ladies you see in the movies toting around one of those oxygen tanks… although I didn't walk at all at that time…) and start breathing normally.

I don’t remember very much of being in the hospital, only what my family tells me I did or didn’t do. But maybe that is better. It must have been very hard on them though….

Today I have been home for a week. I can shower by myself (WHOOHOO!!!), I can breathe, read and write again (Oh Yeah Baby) and I can talk walks outside and see Classic, Jones and the crazy cats. I have been to the farm for the first time yesterday and seen our girls...

Life is good.

But this was only part one.

In order to do the full Inter Leukin Treatment (and kill kill kill all those nasty cells) we have to do another round off 5 days Intensive Care…


And, well… we are not sure my heart can take another round. So this week were going to fuel up, get strong, get stamina back and learn to walk to the other side of the house and not be totally exhausted… (no, our house is NOT that big…) AND do a stress test. This stress test is to see if my heart can take another round. They are also going to draw some blood and we are going to see Dr Logan again.

In the mean time I just am overwhelmed (in a GOOD way) with your prayers, cards, gifts, presents, flowers, bears, cookies, socks, pirate games, monkeys in a jar, lollypops, crèmes and all the other goodies you guys sent me and continue to feel very much blessed and loved! You Crazy American’s really do things bigger and better!!! Haha!

THANK YOU!!!


...

109 comments:

Liz @ Two Maids a Milking said...

Glad you were able to make it to the farm!! I think I speak for everyone when I say we missed you!

Cris said...

So glad to hear you are back and I am with Liz, we missed you!

Ellie said...

So good to hear from you. Now you just have to build yourself up again, but do it gently. Take care.

Larkrise garden girl said...

Leontien, I am so glad your back on the farm.I have been thinking abut you all week,I am sure your family is happy your home. Were all glad your back,HUgs Cheri

Jill said...

So glad that you are up and about! Smudge sends hugs. Eat well, and get plenty of rest!

Amanda said...

Lovely to see you are back and able to make it to the farm. Hope you take it easy and get ready for the next round, well done on completing the first!

Alica said...

It's good to hear from you again Leontien! I'm sure you're glad to be HOME again...praying that things go WELL for you!

Sush said...

Oh Leontien...my heart was singing...now there's an accomplishment...when I saw you were writing again. Sounds like an ordeal one I'm grateful you don't remember a lot of. Here's to more days of rest and strength so you can kick a** the second go round.
Prayers and love beaming your way!

Hugs~

Furry Bottoms said...

Its so good to see you write again! :) I had been thinking of you lately and wondering how you were doing. HUGGGGGGS!

Sandra said...

I feel the same as Sush, singing heart when I saw your post come up. it sounds really tough to me, and we know you are one tough cookie. so keep on keeping on what you are doing and i will keep praying the treatment will work and for your stress test and for your heart to beat strong. thanks for letting us know how you are.

Elizabeth Grimes said...

I just know that you'll get strong enough to do the next round! I'm just amazed at what you've accomplished so far. Your story is quite inspiring and I'm so glad that you're able to share it with us! :)

My Kid's Mom said...

So glad you're back! I've been checking every day and praying for you!

Hermie Slaghekke said...

wow...wat mega-sterk moet jij zijn Leontien, en...wat allemachtig sterk BEN je!!! Fijn dat je weer thuis bent, veeeeeeeel succes met het aansterken en nog meer met de tweede ronde. KILL KILL KILL THESE NASTY CELLS, i know you will do it!
Hermie

Kim said...

Leontien,
I can't tell you how excited I was to get your comment and then see a new post from you.
Your journey has been in my thoughts so much lately. I had my mammogram last week and wished I had some skull panties to wear for it!
Keep the faith and gain back your strength. We are all so proud of you!!

Rose H (UK) said...

I'm so glad that you are back at the farm for some much needed R & R. It's maybe a good job you don't remember what you've been through, just that you have 'got over it'. Keep up the good work building up your stamina, and revel in the love that surrounds you.
Sending positive thoughts and a hug from over the pond.
Very best wishes
Rose H

Katie @Pinke Post said...

Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back. Praying for your heart!

TexWisGirl said...

it is SO good to hear from you! we've all been wondering and praying for you!!! dear girl. i'm sorry this is so rough! i pray your heart will get TOUGH and ready for round 2! God bless you and Bastiaan!

Susan said...

I am so glad to hear from you! I have been wondering about you alot, and praying for you. Dear girl, you've had it rough, enjoy your respite and get your heart ready for another round and kill all those nasty cancer cells. I know God will bless you and your family.

Praying for you, and I'm so proud of you and your battle spirit!

This Farm Family's Life said...

Yay Leontien!!!

Anonymous said...

Oh Leontien, What a blessing hearing fro you. I know what nasty cancer cell killer drugs can do to the body and the heart and I hope and pray that you will get through it. They always give as much as the body can take and pull back until you get up again.

I know I don't have to tell you this of course but hang in there my little cow girl. Hugs and prayers. Julia from Of Petals and Wool.

Florida Farm Girl said...

The strength that cancer survivors display is nothing short of phenomenal. AND YOU ARE A SURVIVOR!! It may take a little time, but I truly feel your spirit will serve you well and help you defeat this ogre once and for all.

Hugs to you, Bastien and the rest of your family, as you move forward.

LindaG said...

Home is the best place to recuperate.
I've been praying for you, as have we all.
It's easy for me to say, but I know you can do it.
God bless, Leontien. *hugs* ♥

Sharon said...

So very happy to hear from you! Glad that round one is over and you are working at getting stamina for the next round. I am imagining that you will have a nuclear stress test, have you had one before? If not, the key is just to relax as much as you can. You have such a tough job to do, and I am proud that you are handling it as well as you are!

Many Hugs!!!

~Kim at Golden Pines~ said...

I've thought about many times and it's made my day to see a post from you! I'm glad you're up and about, but most of all, I'm glad you're home--I know that helped to make you feel better too!! Take care and know I'm thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers!!!

Becky~ said...

God Bless you Leontien,you sound like your fiesty and positive.Keep up the good work.Your mental outlook has alot to do with the outcome,I think you will do great!

Blessings and hugs!

Jill said...

Leontien! What a wonderful surprise to see you here today! I have been thinking of you so often and praying for you daily.

My dear, girl, I am sorry for all you are going through. I do hope this week at home serves it medicine upon you that it has to offer. May your stress tests go well and may your beautiful heart be strong, like you. I wish I could wrap my arms around you but for now, I send you love and prayers and many virtual hugs.

Arkansas Patti said...

Wow, that really sounds like an ordeal and I am glad you can't rememeber all of it.
So glad you are home for now to regain your strength for round two.
You have remained in my prayers and will till you are 100% again.

The Wife of a Dairyman said...

SO glad to see you feel like writing in between your treatments! Prayin' for you girl! You are a STRONG woman!

Marissa @Life On Our Side Of The Mountain said...

It's so good to hear from you. Glad you are home and feeling like writing, you've been missed!

lisa said...

Oh, I am so glad to hear from you, and so happy to know you are feeling well enough to be here.
I have miseed you, and I think of you every day.
Stay strong, and always know how many friends are always with you.
Sending you hugs.
xo

Buttons said...

Your Back I am so happy. I know you are going back in but let me just enjoy this for a moment.
I have been thinking constantly about you.
It is so nice to be back to the farm I am sure.It always works magic doesn't it. Bastiaan is a darn good man. Give him a hug for me I would do it myself but you know.
You have made it this far and you can keep going that big Dutch heart will survive it is strong. You are very very strong I can tell you that wonderful humour in you will keep you strong.
I bet you look fabulous even as a tomato I am so happy this part is over. I will be praying for you along with everyone else my dear friend. Big hug and kiss. Yeah your home if only for a bit to know what home is. XXOO more hugs from Canada.

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

I confess that I've been thinking of you and obsessively checking your blog like crazy for an update! I am glad to hear you're home and I hope that you start feeling MUCH better soon! I also hope that things go well w/ the upcoming stress test - we already know how big hearted you are, but I hope your heart proves to be strong as well ;-) Hugs to you and please feel better soon!

Mom of M&Ms said...

with out fail you are in my daily (morning prayers).. but then God brings you to mins through out my day, and I pray then, also!!! Now I pray that your heart strengthens... and that the cancer leaves... and know that you are loved!

dr momi said...

Praying the stress test comes out for round two. So good to read your post! God Bless.

Sandi said...

Simple pleasures like taking a shower...all by oneself! I have thought of you so much and have lifted you up in nearly every small group I've been a part of.

I know we will all keep the prayers a comin!

Many Blessings, Leo.
Sandi

Ms. A said...

You have such a wonderful attitude with all your death defying feats! You have my admiration, thoughts and prayers!

Gary said...

You are very brave!! Boom & I send our best. Boom & Gary of the Vermilon River, Canada.

It's me said...

Yes !!! ik ben zo blij wat van je te horen lieverd.......meissie toch wat een weg die je moet bewandelen ....maar gelukkig heb je genoeg mensen om je heen die je steunen......ik ga vreselijk voor je bidden.....okee??? jij gaat hier doorheen komen let maar op !!....dikke kus !!.....liefs van mij...enne als je zin hebt......ik heb een give away......liefs xxx..

don said...

I, along with many many others, have waiting to see you back on the blog with a post. Your description of the treatment was sobering, but shows so well how strong and resillent you are! You continue in my thoughts and prayers for a return to strength and the condition necessary to complete the treatments.

Cinner said...

I am so glad you are home, wishing you all the best with your heart, hoping you have energy to get to the other side of the house and then to round 2 and onward. I was thrilled to see your post today. I have been wondering how you have been doing and managing. Your Bastian sounds wonderful, you are surrounded by love. Get plenty of rest and positive thoughts always. sending you a big hug your way.

Poppy said...

How lovely to read a blog from you, I have been thinking of you. Sending you big hugs xx

Farm Girl said...

Thanks for the update. I am praying for you and sending you my love. I will pray your heart is strong enough.
You will do it this time too, you will succeed.
I will pray you can do all of those things that you want to do.
So glad you are home.

Crystal Cattle said...

Definitely thinking of you and I got your sweet card. You are amazing to be able to say life is good, just keep chanting it because we are all thinking about you!
www.crystalcattle.com

Lori Skoog said...

Leontien,
How happy I was to hear from you today. And especially excited to know that you are home and have been to the farm! You have people all over the world pulling for you!

It sounds like it was one heavy duty treatment, but if it does the job, that is the most important thing. I look forward to your updates and hope you regain some of your strength soon.
All the best from Skoog Farm.
Lori

Renee said...

Hello, I found your blog over at teeiabodesigns

Katie @ On the Banks of Squaw Creek said...

I love reading your blog post today! Your sense of humor is shining through again - showing what an amazing woman (and writer) you are! LOTS OF LOVE for you, Leontien!

Diana said...

Oh Leontien I think you are truly amazing! I'm happy for your little respite. I wish you well and Gods Blessings with the next round. I'll be thinking of you and praying always.
Love Di ♥

Patrice said...

I'm so glad you're home and picking up some normal activities. When they check your heart, I'm sure they will find a good one. A heart for her family, friends, and animals. I hope it is ticking well too. :) You have been in my prayers and you will continue to be.

Keep kicking it, girl!

TheCrankyCrow said...

So very wonderful to finally hear from you!! I have been anxiously waiting for this post to show up. Truly - you must teach Bastiaan to post some updates while you are "down under" and "tomato-like"....(But, personally, I think toatoes are beautiful....) ;o) Round One: Winner: The Amazing Leontien!!! Woo Hoo!!! You go girl!!! I hope I haven't exceeded my prayer up-load limit - cuz I have more to do for Round 2. Blessings and Healing to you my friend.....Hugs & Smiles ~ Robin

Tales from the Ranch said...

My thoughts and prayers to you and your family during these times, may you not only best the cancer but come through stronger than ever before.

Crystal Kellner said...

Praying and Thinking of you everyday. May you get all the rest, strength and support at home.

Farmchick said...

So glad to hear that you are home! Sorry to hear it was so tough, but stay strong and positive. So many of us are praying for you.

Lana said...

SOOOO Good to hear your voice on here! ;-) Glad to hear you figured out the Kindle and are enjoying it. It took some getting used to because this English teacher LIKES to turn the real pages of a book, but you can't beat it for being convenient and easily accessible to any book in the world you want to read.

Hope to see you soon, but for now you rest up. We are finishing up one field tomorrow then moving everything back here to finish up our last field. Hope the weather holds for us. I spent the last two days picking corn on ground that has been in my family for over 75 years. I grew up loving every inch of it as a child, and yesterday was the first time I was able to run a combine on it and bring in the harvest. I cried a couple of times and felt my grandparents sitting on my shoulders like little angels. I know they are so proud!

Hugs to you my dear and all my prayers for strength and healing!

~Dawn~ said...

So glad you are home! Will continue to pray for your strength and healing. Stay strong! Blessings and Hugs!

Dreaming said...

I'm so glad to read your post. I missed you and was wondering... and wondering... and wondering!
It sounds like it was truly awful - but if that stuff kills the cancer, then it's worth every awful minute!
As far as your heart goes - that's really scary. I don't know about how strong your heart is, but you tell those doctors that your heart is really big! You have the biggest, kindest heart I know!

Take care!

Staci at Life At Cobble Hill Farm said...

So happy to see you back. I am thinking of you and praying for you.

Cinderella said...

oH honey I am so sorry that this is so rough! My heart goes out to you - you are braver than I would ever be! Hope that this week at home gives you a chance to feel a bit better. My enormous empathy and many many daily hugs to your valiant self.
Loving thoughts and healing wishes sent your way xoxox,

Julia said...

Heh cow girl, I got my blog and my id back. I just wanted you to know. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs, good night, JB

Leah @ Beyer Beware said...

Girlfriend, I think God wondered what all the out pouring prayers were all about and decided to kick the healing into overdrive. So glad to hear you got back to the farm and you don't remember the hospital. Love you!

Chatty Crone said...

I am a friend of Madsnapper - Sandra - and I know she really cares so much and I talked about you. I am so thankful to God to hear from you on your blog. You sound good but I do know that you must be scared and hurting. You have so many people that are loving and praying too - so God has to hear.

I think you are so brave and awesome and so positive.

Watch a lot of funny television and can you take vitamin C?

And how if you need anything - besides prayer - because I am going to do that - I'm just a blog away.

sandie

Jeanie said...

You are one strong, positive cookie! Cancer's butt IS hard to kick, but you are just the girl who can do it.
Like so many, I am so glad to hear from you and to know you have made it through the first round. Home and family and all that is inside you will make you the victor.

Garden of Egan said...

Ah, Leontien, I have been thinking so much about you and praying that you were doing OK. Sounds like you really gave it your all.
Please know that you continue in my prayers.

I hope you keep practicing up that CANCER BUTT KICKING moves!

Debbie said...

you rock girl!! courage and strength, beauty and grace!!

you've got the whole world pullin' for you!!

it's awesome to see you back here, your photo's are amazing!!

Katie said...

Way to go! You made it through the first round and that is a huge accomplishment. I'll be praying that God gives you a supernatural strength that comes only from Him.
In our weaknesses, He is made strong. Blessings to you and enjoy your time at home.

Saimi said...

Holy Cow girl they are working you over! I'm so glad you are home and getting your strength back.

You are and incredible example of strength and positive thinking..I'm seriously impressed with you!

Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers daily!

Anonymous said...

You truely are an amazing woman. May God continue to give you the strength and courage which you have demonstrated. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Linda
linelu55@yahoo.com

Egberdien said...

Lieve Leontien,

respect voor de sterkte en het doorzettingsvermogen.
Heel veel beterschap toegewenst, geniet van jullie mooie plekje, de koeien en van elkaar!
Sterkte met de volgende ronde.
Ik zie je begin januari!

Liefs Egberdien

Cheryl @ The Farmer's Daughter said...

Oh my gosh!!! Leontien!!! I'm so happy to see you commenting and posting! You've been in my thoughts and prayers and I will continue to pray for your strength and for healing. Stay strong and know that so many of us are praying and sending healing thoughts your way! I wish I were there in person to give you a gentle hug. This one will have to do >>> (((((HUGS))))
Blessings,
Cheryl

Ricki Jill Treleaven said...

You are so amazing! You are an inspiration! I am praying for you right now. Get some strength, and pass that stress test!

(((hugs))) from Alabama,
Ricki Jill

Tanna at The Brick Street Bungalow said...

Sooooo glad to hear from you, Leontien. You remain in my prayers daily. {{hugs}} love and blessings ~ Tanna

Clint said...

We love you, Leontien. You are such an inspiraion to us all. God bless you.

Cindy Ellison said...

We sure do love you, Leontien! I think of you so often. Thank you for this update. I pray you continue to get strength for this next round coming up. It is also my prayer that you get this all behind you and get back to the farm ... SOON!

I'm like Ricki Jill, I want to give you a gentle hug, too!

(((♥Leontien♥)))

lou said...

Miss Leontien...it is SO good to have you back! I have been and will continue to pray like crazy for you and your family! Hugs from Southern Indiana!

Megan (Best of Fates) said...

Hope you get your strength up and keep your heart strong - you're in my thoughts.

Samantha said...

You are doing great, dear..you are kicking ass on YOUR terms.
We're all here cheerleading for you!!!
Fuel up and get ready to kick even more butt.
We'll be here waiting!

Dolores said...

Yea, so good to hear from you. You're such an inspiration....keeping you in my prayers for perfect healing!!!
Hugs to you sweet friend!

Christina Klas said...

Your words are heartfelt and I love them interspersed by the glory of God's creation. The good and the bad - all wrapped up in one.

Deone said...

Leo.. I have been checking your blog to see when you might write again and yay! You wrote!! I hope you truly realize how special it is to be able to feel everyones prayers.. We are still praying for you really hard and trust that the good Lord will keep you and your family at peace! Sending you warn hugs.. Deone

Laoch of Chicago said...

Good wishes to you and your family.

Gerreke said...

Wat een heftig verhaal. Ik ben er stil van. Ik heb een aantal blogs terug gelezen, want ik heb heel wat gemist.

Wat kun jij er knap over schrijven zeg. Ik hoop ook dat je het op deze manier goed van je af kunt schrijven.

Weet dat ik aan je denk en voor je bid!

Lieve groet,
Gerreke

lisa said...

Just stopping by to give you a hug, and to say that I hoe you are doing well today.
xo

bon bon said...

so great to hear from you! glad you're back home with the girls, who i'm sure missed you! and you've come back to some gorgeous fall views too! keep charging ahead, honey! xo!

Michaele said...

So glad to hear from you! Be good to your heart, it will respond well I'm sure. It just has too.

acorn hollow said...

I have thought of you a thousand times and pray you do well.
thank you for the candle for my husband tomorrow is the big day.
Blessings to you
Cathy

Not So Simply Single said...

Dollface, you have been in my prayers! Glad you are blogging again!

If anyone can kick cancer, it is you. Your marvelous spirit and persistant nature will get that dirty c word right out of your life...

(plus God helps alot too!)

Keep the faith my dear! We are on your side!

Love and prayers, Lisa

Amy said...

Glad to read your update. Praying your heart is as strong as your spirit.

Dawn said...

Have been thinking of you dear girl.
You
are
amazing!

Sinz of my SmithGang said...

So glad you are home and doing well praying for your continued strength!May God wrap his arms around you even tighter as you continue with the last round of treatment.hugs from the south

Becky~ said...

So nice to see you had visited my blog.I hope things are getting a little better,God Bless and know you are always in my prayers Leontien.HUGS!

Blessings!

TechnoBabe said...

You sound like your sweet self. I am so glad you are able to write and that you are gaining strength to continue the treatments. You are awesome.

Abe Lincoln said...

Wow. You have been busy and everyone is pulling for you to get through this and back to normal.

Sandra said...

more hugs and kisses coming from Florida, hope each day you feel better. still praying for you

EmptyNester said...

I know you can do this! I just know it! My full prayer focus is on you right now!

Tee-iabo Designs said...

I'm so glad to hear that you are back home at the farm. I'm going to put you on my bible study's prayer list and pray that your heart gets strong enough to handle the next round. Cancer is due for a serious butt whooping from you and all who support you.

You are such an inspiration with your positive outlook on things. Continue to be strong and positive in your thoughts my friend, God will not fail you. Sending much love & hugs...

Sonya

About Muriel said...

It's so good to read another great blog post from you...a sure sign that your treatments going well. Lots of love Mrs. Inspiration!!!

Ed Pilolla said...

i get nothing but good vibes here, and whenever i see your name. praying for you. a week home sounds so good.

Louise said...

It's so good to see a post from you. This sounds like a really, really rough road you're on, so stay tough and strong and positive. Oh wait, that's not hard to do if you're you. You're always that way.

Dawson Cattle Company said...

sending love and hugs your way! theres no where better to get your strength back than back at the farm. treat yourself like a queen. i have been thinking of you! :)

Buttons said...

Hey You I am just checking in I took some virtual soup to Feral Woman so I thought I would bring you some. Stay strong my friend. I am thinking about you. B

Buttons said...

Forgot the hugs XXOO B

forgetmenot said...

So glad you are back home again, at least for a little while. More challenges to face, but you have the most positive attitude and that will take you a long way. My thoughts and prayers are with you--be strong and of good faith--miracles are out there. Take care. Mickie :)

missing moments said...

Just catching up from being away. Oh my, what you went through but glad you made it back home. Grow strong for the next round! Sending lots of good vibes your way!

gowestferalwoman said...

One day at a time? Nope, its one hour at a time! Dont you know it, Sister! You be the strongest Milkmaid I know, and your courage inspires me to think small steps, not huge ones.

Because you know thats what lifes about...the wonderful small things mean just as much as the big fantastic things.

WIshing you lots of wonderful small things today and the next (with some big fantastic things tucked in for good measure)!!

Country Mouse Studio said...

Sending prayers your way. You're an inspiration to us all.

Deila said...

Bless your heart -- in more ways than one! You are incredible.

www.FarmLifeLessons.Blogspot.com said...

Leontein --- I just posted a blog today about a box I found full of stuff that had belonged to my mother and I got a comment from Linda that you were battling cancer...maybe you could use the things I found, I could send them to you for free. If you are interested, just click on my name or the link or however it is done and read...I took a picture of the a few things I found. It may not apply to you, but if so, or if you have a reader who is having chemo, losing hair, etc., they might be able to use these pretty things my mother didn't get a chance to wear.

Love to my sisters who fight for life in this the world and the next.

Lana

don said...

I'm still thinking about you daily. November 9 and wondering how you're doing.

Teresa said...

Stopping by to visit from Playing With Angels. I just wanted to let you know that another someone is out here praying for you and can't wait to see you fight this! You truly are an inspiration!

Chatty Crone said...

I would love your email address so I could answer your comments to my blog back to you.

Mine is skcz at comcast dot net

Have you read the book Anatomy of an Illness by Norman Cousins? I don't know if it is a cure all - but laughing sure can help through life and pain. They have gummy vitmain c now too at Wal Mart. But I still LOVE to laugh. Wish I could do more then pray - if I can - let me know.

sandie with hugs and prayers.