During all the chemo in 2008 and 2009 my oncologist suggested that I needed to do something to relax… I wasn’t feeling so good (wonder why???) and I needed to make sure that my head stayed on my shoulders the right way.
So I figured I might try something new.
But I got down on the floor and while glaring at the book several times I tried to get myself into the right positions, I didn’t do much better with myself then I did with my towels….
I tried to follow the instructions and in the mean time also trying to relax and clear my mind about all the stuff that was going on. I spent an hour bending my body into the shapes in which it had never been before…
My theory, “you should do everything you do for one hundred percent or you shouldn’t do it at all.”
The next day I simply could not get out of bed. Everything was hurting, and not the hurt from the side effects! From my little toe all the way up to the top of my head, I was in pain. I defiantly didn’t feel relaxed and because I couldn’t focus true all this pain I missed my opportunity to go to the farm.
I had a pretty tight schedule: Monday afternoon: chemo, Tuesday: side effects, Wednesday morning: farm work, Wednesday afternoon: chemo, Thursday: side effects, Friday morning: farm work, Friday afternoon: chemo, Saturday: side effects, Sunday: farm work and sometimes something fun and Monday morning: farm work before we drove up to the hospital and start the whole cycle again… Not going to the farm made me even more worried because I couldn’t make paychecks for our boys. So end result of the yoga session; no relaxing, more worrying, more stress and even more pain!
And that is and was no good.
At about the same time me and my little brother talked about me having a drum set, I strongly believed that I would be just absolutely fantastic at drumming! I fantasized that it would be my undiscovered talent and while explaining to everybody why I was walking so funny for the next 4 days, “yes, I tried yoga, and NO, I’m not doing it again”, my brother secretly (with the help of my wonderful parents) bought a drum set from one of our neighbors for a really good price and one day of helping them out with our big pay loader.
I don’t have any more talent for playing the drums as I have for yoga, but I do feel sooooooo much better after I hit it and it doesn’t hurt as much as practicing yoga!
Chaffinch ( Fringilla coelebs)
35 minutes ago